10/6/06 - Celebration Day!

Today’s the day… my final radiation treatment… my final cancer treatment! I woke up happy that Ric was going with me this morning. The poor guy’s had a lot to deal with this year. I’ve been scared and sick and not always pleasant to be around! He’s been by my side from the beginning… right there holding me when I told him about the call telling me I needed to go back for another mammogram… when I had that first sick feeling that something could be very wrong. I liked knowing that we would share this day. We had weathered this storm together from the very beginning and we would see the rainbow together today!

Lisha was my radiation therapist for my first treatment and she was there today for my last. She, and all the others have been so sweet and kind. The radiation treatments were much quicker than chemo and the therapists couldn’t stay in the room during treatment, so we didn’t get to know each other as well as the nurses during chemo… but I still appreciate their caring and comfort and friendliness. Their attitudes once again made a scary situation easier! I’ll remember them fondly… always.

Ric went with me this morning to radiation, and after the treatment he suggested we go to IHOP for breakfast. On the way down to Kanawha City, I almost called him on the cell phone (we were in separate cars) to suggest Bob Evans instead, then decided IHOP was fine. When we arrived at the restaurant, the hostess met us as the door, and Ric quickly said we’ll go over there, nodding to the left. I looked and saw balloons and wondered why he wanted to go to where a kids birthday party was going on. (I didn’t even stop to think that it was weird to have a child’s birthday party at 7:30 AM on a weekday.) When we walked around the corner I saw my daughter’s face… the my step-son, then my son-in-law, then my son, then all the grandchildren… all my family early in the morning, who lived in Parkersburg, who were at work or in school… was I seeing things? Oh my! My FAMILY! They’re ALL here!

There were all kinds of balloons and flowers and cards… and my FAMILY! They came all the way down, left at 5:00 AM, will be late for work and school… just to celebrate this day with me! I cried… of course… but tears of joy! I was so happy… and had never been more surprised in my entire life! We just had a wonderful morning… eating breakfast together, laughing, and celebrating!!! It was the best gift ever… to have my husband and children and grandchildren surrounding me with their love. I’ll always remember this beautiful morning!

Jill said they wanted to do something really special for me… something I would never expect. It was special… I was completely surprised… and will never forget this wonderful day.

The celebrating went on all day… I received a dozen pink roses (my favorite) from Susi and Skip, lots of well-wishes and congratulations from our V100 listeners – some even holding simultaneous celebrations, and a gorgeous hand-made pink and cream quilt made by the Winfield Quilt Guild!

After my air shift the surprises continued. My co-workers had a Cheesecake Party to celebrate the end of treatments. The people I work with have shown their support all throughout this unusual year. They’ve taken care of me during difficult days, helped me, prayed for me, cried with me, laughed with me, and celebrated! Work is a place where we spend a lot of our time. Work gave me a reason to get out of bed in the mornings, when it would have been easy to stay in bed and wallow in the suffering. And when I did come to work, I had warm, friendly faces to greet me… people who became my family during this time.

The day ended with Ric taking me to Sitar… our favorite restaurant… and we celebrated the end of the treatments, and talked and laughed about this wondrous day filled with love and celebration.

Ric is the best secret keeper ever!

10/5/06 - One More to Go

I went to my radiation treatment this morning. Tomorrow will be the last treatment. I can hardly believe it. I’ve spent most of this year having doctor appointments, tests, surgeries, and treatments… and I will be finished tomorrow!

I’ve already started the transition… I’ve been walking at a nearby park. I walked 2 miles yesterday… doesn’t seem like much, but it’s a start. I’m walking even though I’m still experiencing fatigue. My legs have never quit aching from the chemotherapy, so I thought maybe exercise would help. I was right… with only 3 days of exercise, my legs feel so much better. Dr. Plants said it would take about 2 weeks to a month to recover from the radiation therapy.

At any rate, after tomorrow… the healing begins in a new way. Actually it’s more like the recovery begins. I’ve always felt that the surgeries to remove the cancer began the healing process… and the treatments were insurance against the return of cancer. But the treatments themselves caused some unpleasant… often difficult… side effects. So once all the treatments are over, I’ll begin recovering from that.

I’m happy, but you’d think I’d be excited. I was definitely excited to have my last chemo treatment, but the side effects of that were so devastating. Radiation’s not been so bad. And another thing… even though it’s not the way I would have planned the year (!), the visits to the hospital have been a routine part of my day for a long time. Now it’s all going to change… for the better of course… but it is change… which always makes me a bit apprehensive. Plus I’ve met some really wonderful people along the way… people who’ve been encouraging, energizing and life-giving. So I’m, in a way, leaving good things behind too. Many of those friendships will continue. And during numerous follow-up visits I’ll be making to the cancer center, I’ll still be seeing the wonderful people I’ve met throughout the medical procedures! It’s still kind of strange though… the way I feel today.

Some of the little things that I’m looking forward to:

It’s been a hassle to use the seat belt in the car. When the port was still in place in the right side of my chest, and I was in the passenger seat, I had to hold it out away from my chest, because the strap went right across the port. Now recently, while driving, I’ve had to hold it out on my left side, because of a radiation burn. So one of the little things that will be nice, will be to use the seat belt on either side… hands free!

I can soon remove the Aquaphor, Hydrocortisone, baby powder, and Aleve from my purse too… maybe even go back to carrying a smaller purse!

I can finally wash off all the Sharpie marks!

Ah… but what am I going to do with that extra hour in the morning? Duh… SLEEP!

10/3/06 - Little Women?

I received my radiation treatment this morning, and was waiting to see the doctor. A man who was sitting beside me made a remark about my friend (who is also receiving radiation treatments) who has a “woman preacher.” He said, “If that’s what she wants, she’s gonna have to live with that decision.” I asked, “You find something wrong with a female being a preacher?” “Yep, I sure do!” “Why?” “Women were created to SERVE men!” I thought he was kidding and I laughed. He wasn’t and he didn’t.

Then I remembered a story he told in the waiting room one time: “My wife told me she wanted to go somewhere where she had never spent much time. So I took her by the arm, and led her into the kitchen.”

I asked him about the women-as-servants remark, “Are you just kidding?” “No!” “You’re serious?” “Yes.” “Why would you believe that?” “Because Jesus didn’t have any woman disciples!” “Women traveled in his group of followers all the time and Jesus treated every woman he met as an equal.” “No, he didn’t.”

Then his name was called for his treatment. I had had a very sleepless night and was feeling tired and grumpy, so I was in a mood to argue… I guess it’s best our conversation was cut short. I was too angry to have made any difference in his way of thinking. Oh, but the not-so-good-girl inside me sure wanted to give it a try!

The Pumpkin Patch

Heard this today:

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and
washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and
scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.
Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for
all the world to see.

Guess we’re all pumpkins.

10/2/06 - Shapes

First day of last week of radiation treatments! Today the electron plan was established for the final week of treatments. The five treatments this week will target only the area where the tumor was removed. It’s much quicker… only takes a few minutes. I have another Sharpie drawing now… around the scar in roughly the shape of Australia. I just have to be careful this week not to wash the marks away.

The area beneath my color bone is so red and painful… at least that area won’t be treated anymore, and can begin to heal.

Even though I’ve been really tired from the radiation treatments, I’ve been feeling a real need to get back to exercising and get back in shape. I wish I would have tried to walk, or do something, all along. Anyway, I decided to put on my running shoes and go to a nearby park and walk. I walked just one mile… and felt really good. I wanted to walk more, but thought I better take it easy for the first time… and walk again tomorrow.

I didn’t wear my wig… just a cap… no scarf. Was it my imagination, or did people avoid making eye contact with me?

Yesterday, I was in Target, with the same non-hairdo… and a really sweet young woman said, “Are you finished with your treatments?” I liked that she just came right out and asked. We had a nice conversation. She also was a breast cancer survivor… having had cancer in her early 30’s. I really admire young women who have to go through all this, and still be a mom, and take care of little children.