Again today I feel nauseous. I know now why some women choose not to work during chemo. It’s really hard to push myself out the door in the mornings when I feel so bad. Yet, for me, I know working is the right choice. If I stayed home all the time… I would lose my will to stay strong. And I would likely fall into depression. It’s tough to be here… when I feel so weak physically… weak emotionally too. If someone asks me how I am while a wave of nausea is coming over me, tears start to fall. Then I feel embarrassed. By next week, I’ll likely feel quite good and energetic. I guess everyone understands I’m doing the best I can. I shouldn’t worry about what others think… everyone here at work has shown me nothing but wonderful, loving support.
Water still tastes so awful… oily and metallic… yuck. Going to work, I drove out of my way to get some tea. I think it was partially to enjoy the sunshine too!
Ric invited listeners to call in for a V100 Listener Poll on who would win the American Idol competition. He took just slightly over 100 calls… and it was something like 87 for Taylor and 24 for Katharine. Will this poll represent the actual outcome? We’ll see. I have a feeling it will.
American Idol Results Night. Wow! What an entertaining show… all kinds of guest stars… returning Idol competitors… and lots of numbers by Katharine and Taylor. And the new American Idol… Taylor Hicks! He was overcome and happy. Katharine did not seem surprised… she was obviously gracious and happy for Taylor. Nice kids.
I asked Ric what we would do now on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. He’s ready to watch reruns of House… and continue to keep the TV addiction going. House has a fascinating story line… but it’s too graphic and intense for me. No thanks… I think.
Off to bed again… another tough, exhausting day. I worry that my body is getting too weak. I’ve never felt like this in my life. I just hope I can hang on through eight more weeks of treatments, without missing any. You know what? I’m sure I can. Countless other women have already done this before me… I can do it as well. I will stand on the strength of those courageous women… and hang in there too!
I believe it’s times like this… when I get discouraged and worried… and suddenly find new resolve… that other people’s prayers are at work… lending their time and energy… through God… to me.
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