Today is May 17… I thought yesterday was the 17th… what day is this? Today is Wednesday… had a good day at work, with lots of energy. Had appointment with Dr. Cohen after work. Let’s see, what do I need to remember this time? In addition to the anti-nausea medicine that I take on a strict schedule… take the other “as needed” anti-nausea medicines before I get sick… don’t wait for feelings of nausea (since it’s apparently something I can expect)… take the Phenergan as a preventive measure. Keep ahead of the nausea this time. I’m so accustomed to using very little medication that even now I can’t seem to get it through my head that medication is not a last resort… it’s okay to use it at the very moment, and even before, it’s needed. Okay… I’m ready.
Also, I’ll take a reduced dosage of the steroid this time… maybe that will prevent the sleeplessness that follows a day or so after chemo.
I do need to watch my weight. The steroid causes a huge increase in appetite. I’ve read where women often gain weight while undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer… now I understand why. I go for several days with no appetite because of the nausea… then it seems like I can’t get enough to eat… and then I eat too much while trying to find something that tastes good. He said it’s nothing to feel guilty about… it’s normal to cry when we’re sad, take medicine when we hurt… and eat when we’re hungry. Just watch the calories and the kind of food I eat. (Wow… it’s seems like if a girl’s gotta be sick… she should at least get to lose weight.)
This is the last time I will have Adriamycine and Cytoxen… next four treatments will be Taxol. Good news is there’s less of the nausea and fatigue side effects. The trade-off, if there will be one, is bone and muscle pain, numbness and tingling in hands and feet. There are medications for the pain… if it occurs. I will be taking more of the steroid… oh boy. But… I may very well have an easier time… and of course, if I don’t… it’s still temporary.
More good news! I discussed being around my grandchildren with Dr. Cohen. He said as long as they’re not sick… go for it. Strep throat would be something I would definitely not want to be around. But if they’re healthy… enjoy them! He offered to write a prescription for me that said… “Take grandchildren in your arms… hug ‘em and kiss ‘em and love ‘me.” He said it would be the best medicine for me. So… this weekend is out, because I’ll be pretty much down and out… but as soon as I’m feeling good again… watch out, Tierra, Sophie, Gage and Kaiden… here I come!
I’m a little concerned about how I’ll feel after this treatment. Although I feel pretty good today, I’m not going into this 4th treatment as well as I have the others. I’ve been really stressed… and although the depression is gone for now… I sense that it’s lurking just around the corner ready to take over at the slightest sign of weakness. I feel very vulnerable this time… and even a little scared.
Let’s see… what can I do about this? Just keep focusing on getting well enough to see my kids and grandkids… that’s certainly something to look forward to. I need to get out and walk too… that’ll help both to keep my weight down… and to just make me feel better. I always feel better when I’m exercising. Keep praying… remembering it’s okay to pray for myself. God, please help me to understand what I’m supposed to be doing at this time… remind me of my purpose… help me to overcome the things that trouble me.
Reunited
After more missed phone calls each way this evening… Debby and I finally connected tonight. We talked on the phone for I think nearly two hours! We discussed how at the same time in our lives, we’ve encountered life-changing trials. Even though we’ve been out of touch for a few years now… our lives are still evolving in a similar direction… wanting different things in our lives… making changes to eliminate stress and worry less… forgiving ourselves for past mistakes… remembering that we’ve always tried to do the best we could with the information we had at the time. And we spent time laughing… about childhood memories… things that make us nuts!… and how many years we’ve been friends! That “number” will be our secret J! It was so good to talk again… Debby’s voice still sounds the same… she said mine did too… yep, we’re still 20-something.
Another Gift
Nervous about tomorrow’s treatment and the following days… My bedtime reading from the “Footprints” devotional, just happened to be:
When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
Your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
Your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Also, I’ll take a reduced dosage of the steroid this time… maybe that will prevent the sleeplessness that follows a day or so after chemo.
I do need to watch my weight. The steroid causes a huge increase in appetite. I’ve read where women often gain weight while undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer… now I understand why. I go for several days with no appetite because of the nausea… then it seems like I can’t get enough to eat… and then I eat too much while trying to find something that tastes good. He said it’s nothing to feel guilty about… it’s normal to cry when we’re sad, take medicine when we hurt… and eat when we’re hungry. Just watch the calories and the kind of food I eat. (Wow… it’s seems like if a girl’s gotta be sick… she should at least get to lose weight.)
This is the last time I will have Adriamycine and Cytoxen… next four treatments will be Taxol. Good news is there’s less of the nausea and fatigue side effects. The trade-off, if there will be one, is bone and muscle pain, numbness and tingling in hands and feet. There are medications for the pain… if it occurs. I will be taking more of the steroid… oh boy. But… I may very well have an easier time… and of course, if I don’t… it’s still temporary.
More good news! I discussed being around my grandchildren with Dr. Cohen. He said as long as they’re not sick… go for it. Strep throat would be something I would definitely not want to be around. But if they’re healthy… enjoy them! He offered to write a prescription for me that said… “Take grandchildren in your arms… hug ‘em and kiss ‘em and love ‘me.” He said it would be the best medicine for me. So… this weekend is out, because I’ll be pretty much down and out… but as soon as I’m feeling good again… watch out, Tierra, Sophie, Gage and Kaiden… here I come!
I’m a little concerned about how I’ll feel after this treatment. Although I feel pretty good today, I’m not going into this 4th treatment as well as I have the others. I’ve been really stressed… and although the depression is gone for now… I sense that it’s lurking just around the corner ready to take over at the slightest sign of weakness. I feel very vulnerable this time… and even a little scared.
Let’s see… what can I do about this? Just keep focusing on getting well enough to see my kids and grandkids… that’s certainly something to look forward to. I need to get out and walk too… that’ll help both to keep my weight down… and to just make me feel better. I always feel better when I’m exercising. Keep praying… remembering it’s okay to pray for myself. God, please help me to understand what I’m supposed to be doing at this time… remind me of my purpose… help me to overcome the things that trouble me.
Reunited
After more missed phone calls each way this evening… Debby and I finally connected tonight. We talked on the phone for I think nearly two hours! We discussed how at the same time in our lives, we’ve encountered life-changing trials. Even though we’ve been out of touch for a few years now… our lives are still evolving in a similar direction… wanting different things in our lives… making changes to eliminate stress and worry less… forgiving ourselves for past mistakes… remembering that we’ve always tried to do the best we could with the information we had at the time. And we spent time laughing… about childhood memories… things that make us nuts!… and how many years we’ve been friends! That “number” will be our secret J! It was so good to talk again… Debby’s voice still sounds the same… she said mine did too… yep, we’re still 20-something.
Another Gift
Nervous about tomorrow’s treatment and the following days… My bedtime reading from the “Footprints” devotional, just happened to be:
When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
Your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
Your consolation brought joy to my soul.
-- Psalm 94: 18-19
The Lord upholds all those who fall
And lifts up all who are bowed down.
-- Psalm 145:14
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble.
-- Psalm 9:9
Though we may face trouble and difficulties, sadness and pain, God is still in control, and he is always with us.
The Lord upholds all those who fall
And lifts up all who are bowed down.
-- Psalm 145:14
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble.
-- Psalm 9:9
Though we may face trouble and difficulties, sadness and pain, God is still in control, and he is always with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment