Last night I watched the local news, and saw a sad story about a little girl in our area, Lydia, who just got home from the hospital after a long stay because of a tragic accident, which left her paralyzed from the waist down. My heart ached for her and for her family. What a tragedy. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
As I read through all the comments and posts on Facebook, wishing me well and offering prayers for me and for Ric, I felt a deluge of guilt for all this attention coming my way. Yet I appreciate the tight, strong, supportive "hug" that these posts have provided. But I get this just because I'm in radio? There are others who need it more than me... because what I'm dealing with is not a tragedy. It's an illness and one that I will overcome. I cried as I told this to Ric.
Ric says it's not meant for me to feel guilty... it's a time for giving everybody a chance to spend time with God in prayer and for folks who don't even know each other to unite in a common cause. Time well spent. I hope it makes us all feel more loving toward others around us. Everyone has pain.
Back to IHOP
Somehow, last time I was going through cancer treatments, Ric and I got into the habit of going to IHOP for breakfast after procedures, tests, surgeries, treatments, etc. And now we're doing it again... enjoying blueberry whole-grain pancakes with coffee for Ric and iced tea for me. Things are slightly different this time around... as we walked in the door today, Ric (because of his MS) was walking with his cane, and I had this stupid (probably life-saving) drain hidden under my clothes... Ric looked at me and said, "Well, here we go. Cane and Drain!"
Tissue Time
After we got home, it was time for me to remove the outer bandage. Although I knew a large amount of tissue was removed from my breast, I was shocked when I saw myself. There is this big dip in my breast, more bruising along with what is still there from last week, a lot of stitches on my breast and a second set under my arm, and that drain hanging out. I just broke down and sobbed. All the while, I know that this is what had to be done and I'm fortunate to still have both breasts, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing! A month ago, I was in perfect health (so I thought) and walking miles a day with my dog... and now I'm standing in my bathroom looking at myself with disbelief. And feeling quite sorry for myself. Ric wanted to make it all better for me and I told him I needed to cry... and he let me. Combined with lack of sleep, I guess this is to be expected. I think I still need one more good, hard, wailing, sobbing episode... but as we women know... that kind of cry has to be one we have alone. Once that is done, it is done... and I'll move on. But for now, I keep tissues handy.
Yes, sometimes we girls need a good cry! ..... Crane & Drane...hehe....that's good.
ReplyDeletejeanne you may feel that all the love and prayers you get are because you are in radio and you may be right for some of them but note how many are from your old friends who have know you and loved you for years. thru your ups and downs etc. we don't care about the radio jeanne just our friend jeanne. but i will try to remember and keep that little girl in my prayers also.
ReplyDeletePraying for u and Ric. I love hearing u on the radio. Just remember God doesn't give us anymore than we can bear.
ReplyDeleteJeanne,
ReplyDeleteYes, you are a radio personality and I've never met you in person. However, for me, I "met" you the day you had your port removed and you shared the news on V100 with your first breast cancer experience. I'd never heard you or V100 before but was struck and inspired by your willingness to share something so personal with the rest of us. Since then I've listened to V100 all the time. You've shared your sparkling personality and recovery to a new normal, then a new job, and then your return to V100, your trips to Mexico, learning Spanish, your experiences with your family, sharing Ric and Bhodi with us, your paintings, even how to keep Christ in Christmas. No, we've not met and you are on the radio, but you've been with many of us who have been enriched having you be part of our everyday. I've prayed for Lydia and many others, but your name has frequently been in my prayers since you shared the most recent news. You and I may never meet, but we share more than your realize. You bring a face and voice to help those who have breast cancer, but with your grace you give us all who care hope. Blessings to you.