Today was “$1,000 Thursday” on V100. When the Song of the Day plays today… someone wins $1,000. During the Request Hour today, a lady requested “Jack & Diane”… and I played it… not realizing it was the Song of the Day! Steve came down to the studio and said, “Jeanne, this is the Song of the Day.” Not believing him, I looked at the calendar… and of course it was Jack & Diane, which was supposed to play during Ric’s show between 4:00-6:00. But here was 12:50 pm and it was playing! Steve patted my back to try to stop my emerging tears… made phone calls to the bosses… which resulted in the decision to have two winners today… each to receive $1,000! Oh my God… I just cost the company one thousand dollars. RJ told me it was okay, no worries, it was bound to happen some time, etc. etc. I know this company well enough to know they’re just not going to be mean about it and/or take the money out of my paycheck… but I also know we’re a company in business to make money and $1,000 is a pretty big chunk of money! Why oh why couldn’t I have made this mistake on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday when it would have only cost $100? No… I have to do things in a big way lately. RJ laughed, teased me, made jokes. I laughed at myself – but mainly to keep from crying.
Later RJ gave me a set of markers and asked me to be the person in charge of writing the Song of the Day on the board in the studio. I asked him, “Any particular reason you’re asking ME to do this job?” He replied, “I can think of 1,000 of them!”
Dream?
Went home and took my usual afternoon nap… had a horrible dream. Someone was pushing me down… it seemed easier to pretend I didn’t exist than to acknowledge I did and fight. I was so scared. Slid down and down and down… eventually just landed on the floor. Stayed on the floor for a while, then decided I would get up and walk. Movie characters in silver suits came to me and said I just forgot to do my hair the right way. They showed me how to lather it up with shampoo and shape it into a ponytail and voilá… everything was okay. I think I should be making an appointment with a psychiatrist. No… I don’t want to know.
Pampering
When I got home today, Ric had done the dishes, made the bed, folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle like they do in hotels. Made me smile. Little things DO count.
Every Season
Received an e-mail from Serena (who had just read my March 19 journal entry) with the lyrics to a song by Nichole Nordeman, which she thought I might enjoy. I did… perfect…
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring
-- Nichole Nordeman from the CD “THIS MYSTERY”
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