Begin music… “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter…
Took morning shower as usual… my hair felt really thin. Oh my… what a mess… hair all over the tub… even some plastered against the wall. This is not pretty. Towel dried my hair… more of a mess. Tub draining slowly… will clean that up shortly. Proceeded to get ready for work. Despite the hair loss, it’s still not real noticeable. Unbelievable. I’ve know my hair was thick… now I’m finding out just how much.
Time to clean the tub. What a complete mess… just used paper towels, lots and lots, to clean up the hair… then clean the tub… spent ½ hour or more! Exhausting.
It’s gonna be 80+ degrees today… wish I wouldn’t have already unpacked my summer clothes and shoes. Couldn’t find anything in the closet I wanted… so just started grabbing boxes and pulling out shoes, throwing them across the room, until I could find the pair of sandals I was looking for. Ric walked in to see what all the fussing and screaming was about. Poor guy just looked bewildered. He must have been thinking “what is this demon that just took over my wife’s body? And for heaven’s sake, what do I do now?” He seemed to realize the best thing was just to get out of the way. Left the found shoes on the bedroom floor… went back into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face… finish up the laborious task of just getting ready to go to work… for which I was now an hour later than I usually go in.
Went back to the bedroom to put on the shoes… and they were gone! Opened up the closet and fairly neatly stacked were the boxes and shoes I had thrown about the room… and no where to be found were the shoes my feet were waiting to step into! Ric. Poor Ric. He tries so hard to make everything perfect. I sorted through the “sorted shoes” and found my sandals.
I hope and pray Ric can just realize he doesn’t have to FIX everything… some things I just have to go through. If I go through these feelings quickly… they go away… and I’m happy again. It’s really good for me to release these emotions as I feel them… it’s so much better than holding things in (which is what I’ve done all my life). It’s better just to be angry, sad, or whatever when I need to… and be really truly happy the rest of the time. Not pretending… the real thing.
Got to work… our server was down… couldn’t get on the internet and/or read e-mail for quite a while.
End “Bad Day” music.
Nice Surprises Awaiting Us
Got home from work today… and someone had mowed our front yard for us! Oh, it needed it so bad… and Ric and I just are not able to do it. Our kids have not been able to come down from Parkersburg or Marietta… so we’ve just been waiting till they do. We didn’t know who did it. Later our next door neighbors Patrick and Kristy brought us Panera Bread bagels and cream cheese for breakfast in the morning. We asked about the yard… it was our neighbors across the street Jackie and Barrington. Oh, we’re so blessed… so blessed!
The Treatment – The Night
Had second chemo treatment. Just like the first time the treatment itself was easy. The staff at the Cancer Center are just so wonderful… make me feel at ease, at home, answer all my questions… just terrific. Felt just fine to drive home… and felt good for a couple hours. Dr. Cohen called to see how I was doing… told him no nausea… but the fatigue was setting in. He said the best medicine would be to go ahead and go to bed.
The fatigue sets in like I’ve hit a wall… just suddenly so tired, eyes feel swollen… a really different kind of tired. Went to bed about 8:30… had a bit of a headache, but no sickness, no nausea… although felt on the verge of it from time to time – couldn’t let the covers touch my throat or put my hand across my stomach. But praise God… I make it through the night without the trauma as before.
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