Wednesday

7/12/06 - On the Last Lap

No pain today, no meds needed! Tonight I’ll have to take the Decadron at midnight and and 6 am for chemo tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the LAST chemo!

Whatever the side effects I have this time, will be the last time. Now that it’s almost over, it’s like the whole chemo process hasn’t taken that long… and hasn’t been that bad. The mind has a way of letting the bad stuff go sometimes. It certainly hasn’t all been bad anyway… in fact there’s been a tremendous amount of good. Physically it’s been tough, and sometimes mentally, but it’s also been a time of huge blessings:

Finding out how strong I can be when I have to. Realizing more than every what a true partner Ric is… he’s hung in there with me thru the good, bad and the ugly. Meeting new people and making new friends. Learning to let go of some of the stress in my life. Learning it’s okay to rest and take care of myself, and that it’s okay to say “no” to anything that’s detrimental to my well-being. Allowing others to do things for us… learning to receive. Knowledge that I dan find humor in all situations. Knowing God is above me, below me, beside me, in front of me, behind me, around me… guiding me, giving me gifts, helping me see the world differently, and love life more!

Now,,, what little things do I look forward to after chemo? Eating salads, not being a “germ freak,” being able to plan things more than a day or two in advance, being more in control of my emotions (yea, that’s gonna happen), drinking iced tea and diet pepsi a little more often, getting back to an exercise routine, getting rid of Medicine Row on my bathroom counter!

And about the hair… I will be glad to have my own hair back. But not having any has not been so bad. Getting ready in the morning’s a breeze… wash my head with the same shower gel I use for the rest of me. Throw on a wig or hat, sometimes a little make-up, get dressed, kiss Ric goodbye, feed the cats… and go!

I actually miss my hair most at night. My bald head still gets cold, and I wear this little terry-cloth sleep cap, that moves around on my head if I’m tossing and turning a lot.

Peach fuzz is not warm.

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