Day time similar to night. I’ve been tired at times, and yet restless too. Laid down to rest. Got up and painted trim work in the living room and dining room! Had to make myself stop.
Ric had a DJ gig tonight for a class reunion. It was fun, lots of nice people there. Toward the end of the evening I was getting tired and my legs were swollen and in pain. I was having trouble keeping up with the music. Got frustrated. Tears in my eyes. Oh, not now. God, please not now. I’ve got a job to do and I can’t let anyone see me cry. Why is it so hard to stop the tears when that’s what I most want to do? Pulled myself back together fairly quickly. Hope no one noticed.
Stomach upset on the way home. Sick for an hour before I could go to bed.
Took sleeping pill cause I don’t have to drive in the morning. Slept pretty well. Woke up too early, 6:45. Cats in the bedroom playing with a toy. Got ‘em out and shut the door, but couldn’t fall back to sleep.
Started to worry and feel sad about everything…
I have a seminar out of town on 8/3 – what will I wear?
Medical bills fill my mailbox everyday. And just found out
we have to pay a lot in income taxes this year.
Ric and Nic are going to Pittsburgh soon. I’ve been wanting to go all year. But
can’t. Work and radiation will keep me here. Makes me sad… I really want to go too.
Medical bills stacking up. I haven’t paid on any of them for a while. It’s been enough just to pay for prescriptions, co-pays for doctor visits, and hospital parking.
I was crying and the cats were scratching at the door. I thought they wanted to
come in and “comfort” me. I opened the door and let them in, and laid back down on the bed. They just jumped over me and up into the windows.
Medical bills just keep haunting me.
I really want to go to church, but I’m afraid I’ll cry there too… so I’ll just stay home.
Okay Jeanne, time to get up, get moving and stop the stupid crying.
Got up and moved and did feel better. Didn’t make it to church, but Ric and I went to a movie and dinner and ended up having a really nice day.
I know all the things I worried about this morning just seemed magnified because I was feeling so bad. Things will work out. I’ll find something to wear to the seminar. I’ll go to Pittsburgh next year. The cats still like me… they just like windows too. Medical bills… they’ll just have to wait for a while.
The pain in my legs got really severe in the evening… even have some in my arms and hands this time. At any rate… it’s the last time. Make it through the next couple weeks and I’ll be on the road to regaining my energy and health!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
- Jeremiah 29:11
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