I've had to learn some new words since I was first diagnosed with cancer: Cytoxan, Taxotere, Neulasta, port (a new meaning for a familiar word), Zofran, axillary lymph node dissection (they don't dissect the things either - they take 'em out!), "chemo brain," and many more I didn't really need to anticipate adding to my vocabulary. I learn how to pronounce them as I go, and learn what their purpose is. "Cytoxan and Taxotere will save your life, but will make you have pain and be sick too. We're going to implant a port in your chest, so we can easily put this cure/poison in your body... yep, cut you open, put 'er in, sew you up and do it in reverse this summer." You get the idea? I hadn't planned on learning how to speak Cancer. And dang... this course is tough!
On the other hand, I have chosen to study Spanish... ever since my daughter walked in our door with this extremely handsome, polite, kind, young man... from Mexico. Although Daniel spoke English, I thought it would be cool if I could speak with their future children and Daniel's family in Spanish. (I knew right away they would end up getting married.) So I've been learning mostly on my own through books and CD's, and taking Spanish classes when they were available, and petitioning servers in Mexican restaurants to allow me to practice espanol with them. My most challenging classes have been with Enybe Diaz, who is from Mexico and was a teacher in her native country. I received an email from her shortly before I was to begin chemotherapy that she was going to offer an advanced class... a very intense advanced class, where only Spanish would be spoken, and where we would have lots of tarea, homework. Just what I'd been waiting for... but not at the same time I was going through chemotherapy! How could I possibly handle such a challenging class at the same time I'm dealing with a serious health challenge? It seemed like I should tell her I would have to wait until the next class, yet I longed to go to this one. After days of trying to make a decision, it occurred to me to ask Ric what he thought I should do. He immediately said, "I think you should take the class... go for it!" So I did!
I knew all along that I should take the class. Not taking the class, would mean I didn't believe I was going to feel good enough to be at the class, to study and do homework... or even feel healthy enough to be able to learn. It would be like allowing myself to be defeated. I think that's why, with Ric's go-ahead, I immediately said "Yes." I wanted to be in the mode of LIVING and having the faith that I could continue to do whatever I wanted... and that whatever those things were, would ADD to my well-being.
I just got home from Spanish class, and feel so great! I've been in the class for several weeks now and am learning a lot. Understanding someone speak Spanish is my greatest challenge, and by using only Spanish in the class, I am comprehending more and more and making lots of progress.
The lesson here? Challenge yourself, even if you're already being challenged. Challenge yourself with something you can be passionate about.. .and enjoy! Knit an afghan, make photo albums/do scrapbooking, begin a moderate exercise program, write a book of poetry, learn to play a musical instrument, learn a foreign language... do something that distracts you from your problems and provides a pleasant diversion. Don't wait until the problematic challenge is over to live. Keep living even through that challenge... by giving yourself one of your own choosing!
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| View from Mayan pyramids at Xochicalco in Mexico (2010) |
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