Monday

5/22/06 - Three Days

Saturday.

Ended up not sleeping much last night… awake till after 5 a.m. Did I sleep too much during the day? I don’t know… I would reach a point where I couldn’t keep my eyes open… so I had to sleep. Is it the medicines I’m taking? Probably. Have to take ‘em. Well, since Friday was my sleepless night this time… I’ll be able to sleep tonight for sure… and go to church on Sunday morning. That’s good.

Very tired all day today… just had to push myself to go to work… and get through the day. Tomorrow will be better.

Sunday.

Slept well and woke up feeling really good. We went to church on a beautiful sunny morning… out to lunch with Dennis and Holly… just a delightful time.

My mom and dad bought a new wig for me… it has long, straight hair… I think it’s my new favorite! Had the energy to put on make-up, and dress up for church… I actually felt pretty! Wow… how’s that for being in the middle of chemo?

It ‘s been a nice relaxing day… I needed it… but got suddenly very, very tired. I didn’t want to go to bed before dark, but had no choice.

Monday.

Slept very restlessly last night… woke up tired… but got ready for work. Put on my new wig, make-up… tried to make myself look better than I felt… hoping the good feelings would follow. It was a tough morning… severe stomach cramps for a couple hours… but I knew it would pass… and it did. All the bad stuff is temporary.

Seems like the days following chemo are just about getting through. Well no, not really… I’m grateful for the times I feel good. But I don’t seem to be learning much… it’s just a matter of hanging on… passing the time until I can count on feeling somewhat healthy again. Boring. How does Ric put up with this day after day? If he’s weary of the cycle… he never lets me know. He lets me set the pace… and we do what we can. I hugged him so tight before going to sleep last night… I love going through the days with him!

Today is Jill’s birthday. Another day that I would have spent with her… but just not able to travel even half the distance to meet her for dinner. This is one of the things I hate about this time in my life… missing out on special events. But of course… I’ll get well… and have tons of celebrations and wonderful times with my family. Again… this too is… temporary.

Now’s a time I should remember to be grateful that I’m on the way to complete healing… with every reason to believe that after the chemo and radiation… my life will return to normal. And I know it will… no reason to be sad… I have great things in my future!

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