Friday

5/5/06 - The Morning After

Last night was a rough night again. I remember the tremendous fatigue setting in… gradually just felt like by body was filled with sand… and I was weighted down to the bed. I recall thinking: Am I getting sick again? No, I couldn’t be, I took the Prevacid for 4 days before chemo, I’ve been drinking lots of water since the treatment, I’ve taken the two anti-nausea drugs, on schedule… I’ll take some Phenergan just in case. I don’t think I’m sick… just really, really tired. Maybe I am getting sick… I just don’t know. I’ll take the one more medicine I’ve been given (that usually no one needs) to be used just in case the others don’t work. Done. I should be fine now. I’m not though… I find myself emitting slight moans…and can’t stop… why am I doing this… does it help get the sick feeling outside my body? No… but I can’t stop.

I fall asleep for a short while. Ric’s been watching TV and runs into the bedroom… “Are you all right? You just moaned really loud!” I wasn’t aware that I had, but told him I thought I might throw up soon. I know my doctor told me to go to the hospital for IV’s if I felt sick again, but I honestly didn’t think it would come to this. Soon… off to the bathroom I go… it was awful, just awful… but still not as bad as the first time. After the vomiting had subsided, I could stand up for a while… just moved to the rug on the floor, leaned against the bathtub and sat there for a long while. Ric was there with me through the whole gory episode. I started to feel somewhat better, but I couldn’t make myself go back to bed and lie down, because I was afraid I would feel sick again. Ric retrieved a bucket for my bedside… I need that for security, in case I’m unable to make it to the bathroom quickly enough should I get sick again. So there we were… me sitting on a rug in the bathroom, with bald head and a bucket beside me… Ric with swollen face sitting on the bathroom counter… and once again I remembered that night of our first date… when we saw each other across the street… picturing a whole wonderful life ahead of us. And you know what… life is wonderful… because Ric and I have this amazing ability to see the blessings in all our trials… and look at each other there in the bathroom and laugh… out loud. You’d think one of us would have had something profound to say… but we didn’t! Thank you God for being here with us.

Pets

I slept long this morning… feeling extremely tired, but much better… no nausea! I can’t help but be concerned it will return tonight. But maybe not. No sense in worring about it… deal with it if it comes… be glad when it goes.

Went to the hospital for my Neulasta injection… felt pretty good when I left, so stopped at the grocery store to get Ric some soft foods to eat.

Back home for a much needed nap. Fell asleep with Dot in one window… Mokie in another… woke with both cats asleep by my feet. It’s just amazing how much those little animals give me comfort. They move with me from room to room… letting me never feel alone.

News and Good News

The interview at the Cancer Center was on WSAZ tonight… they did a terrific job of putting it all together. Penny is not only a talented news reporter, she’s a great person too. It’s easy to be working with her.

Ric went to see Dr. Falbo earlier today… he was able to do a partial root canal, and drain the tooth… will have to finish up later after the infection subsides. Ric called and the pain is gone! I’m so glad.

Cinco de Mayo

Today is my granddaughter, Sophia’s second birthday… it makes me sad not to be with her today… but we will celebrate later… and it will be special!

R&R

Although I was very tired… we decided to go to the baseball game for about an hour… always good to be out in the fresh air… and we just love the ballpark. Our team was having another terrific night. But we still left early… Ric hadn’t had much sleep for two nights… and I was in need of rest too. Still gave us both a lift to be there.

Good night’s sleep for both of us… Ric without pain… Jeanne without nausea… Getting it all back together. Susan G. Komen Race tomorrow… I’m really looking forward to it. I remember when I was sick last night, I thought I wouldn’t be able to go to the race. I lost sight of the fact that the sickness was temporary… I couldn’t see the end of it at the time. I know I’ll be tired tomorrow… and won’t be able to do the 5K walk… but I WILL be there!

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